Wait…Some Yoga is Actually Relaxing?

You mean to tell me that some people practice yoga and actually experience relaxation? Normally I would call bullshit, but apparently it’s true. How do I know? I experienced it first hand last week.

Let me preface this post by first saying: Hello all! It’s been a ridiculously long time since I’ve posted. I haven’t done a whole lot of yoga in the last few months…basically I’ve been lazy…and incredibly poor. But I’m back for the time being and am looking to get back into the yoga game.

So about this relaxing yoga. I did hatha yoga for a few months back when I was in college. It mostly entailed a dark room, mood lighting, me nailing wheelbarrow pose, and more than my fair share of naps. That was back in Spring 2010 when I was a young community college student. In June of that year my dad took me to my first Bikram yoga class and I kinda never looked back. When I moved to Davis/Sacramento I continued my Bikram practice and went strong for two years, as you can see in my post history.

In Fall 2012 I did my Bikram 70 day challenge, won a bronze medal for completing my 35 days of yoga and walked away from the experience with a love for yoga, a severe superiority complex, and a brutally injured left knee courtesy of Supta Vajrasana (fixed firm pose).

For two years I hopped off and on the Bikram wagon and continued my practice inconsistently. I was never able to quite get back to the level of intensity that I’d experienced during that first challenge. Several renewed memberships and failed challenges later and I sort of gave up on Bikram for a while. I went back this past April for about a month and it felt good to be in the hot room, but it was clear that my passion had waned. And then I was introduced to Vinyasa.

Several close friends of mine have encouraged me to try Vinyasa since the very first time I complained about Bikram. But I’m a stubborn gal who really digs being in her comfort zone, and so I stuck it out with Bikram and continued to believe that yoga was characterized by high heat and fluorescent lighting. Bro-tip: it’s not.

My friend Rachel recently started going to a new yoga studio just down the street from my house (bonus!) and I thought I’d tag along. I’d been nervous about trying vinyasa for a while since I heard it was heavily focused on cardio and muscle building, and let’s be honest, I’m not the most in shape girl you’ll meet. Sure Bikram is hot, but let me stand still between poses and lay down when I’m tired and I’m good. This flow stuff sounded terrifying.

It was wonderful. I got to the studio, met up with Rachel, utilized the shit out of her free guest pass, and went to lay my mat down in the room. The first thing I noticed? it was dark. And there were no mirrors. I was confused.

“How do I know if I’m doing the pose correctly if it’s dark and there are no mirrors to see myself?” I asked Rachel, jokingly, but also completely serious. Rachel had accompanied me to a few Bikram classes in the past. We’re still friends though.

“You just have to feel it and trust that you’re doing it right. If you don’t think you’re doing it right, adjust yourself. No one will yet at you if you aren’t locking your knee or if you aren’t going as hard as you can. It isn’t that kind of yoga.” I was skeptical. And then class started. There was chanting in Sanskrit, guided meditation, music (!!!), dim lighting, warm air, sweat, helpful teachers, and shaky muscles. There was also a profound sense of relaxation afterwards. Oh, and I was sore for a solid 5 days.

I’ve signed up for a 30 day trial membership that I’m almost certain will turn into an ongoing monthly membership. I won’t be going every single day because frankly, that’s too much damn yoga and as I’ve mentioned before, I tend to struggle with moderation and balance. It’s good to push yourself but not so much that you wear out.

I can’t promise that I’ll write a blog post after every class, but I do enjoy the opportunity for reflection that it provides. And let’s face it, I really enjoy going back through my old posts and laughing at how hilarious and witty I am.

#nomistakes #namaste

Everything in moderation…

…including moderation.

We’ve all heard the phrase. We all know what it means: pace yourself, don’t go crazy, be responsible with your pleasures, but don’t be afraid to let loose every now and then. But what does it mean to let loose? 

The discussion of moderation reminds me of a swinging pendulum: too far to the left and you don’t feel quite right, too far to the right and you don’t feel that well either. The key is to get somewhere in the middle, in the sweet spot, without swinging too far to the left or to the right.

The problem I encounter however is that little thing called momentum. If I’m moving in one direction I tend to keep moving in that direction, hard and fast. And the amount of energy required to change course is incredible. It’s basic physics. I’ve been told by multiple people that I have problems with moderation, and I agree with those assessments. When I start something new, I tend to throw all my energy at it and can really only sustain that level of energy for a month or two.

When I first started yoga, I did a 70 day challenge and put 100% of my effort into yoga for 2 months. After my challenge I could hardly step back into a hot room. I’ve never managed to regain that same level of effort for yoga, and its been almost 2 years since my challenge ended. So too have gone my bouts with running, cycling, and diets.

My recent tango with an attempt at moderation had to do with alcohol. I’m not Catholic, but I try to give up something for lent every year as a reminder of the importance of sacrifice and following through with goals. This year I gave up alcohol. When I made the decision to give up alcohol, I was at a place in my life where alcohol was no longer enjoyable. I no longer enjoyed drinking to excess with my friends, and I no longer enjoyed wasting my weekends on hangovers and shitty, greasy food the morning after a long night of binging. So after too many people told me I couldn’t do it, I decided to give up alcohol for lent. I had a few ups and downs but after getting some good advice from my dad, I managed to follow through with my goal and successfully abstained from alcohol from March 3-April 20. It was hard at first because so many people didn’t think I was serious about it. And several people actively tried to sabotage my efforts. But I made it through.

The first few weeks after my sober streak ended were good. I didn’t go hog wild and drink everything in sight. In fact, most alcohol had lost its appeal. Drinking a bottle of wine over the course of the evening used to be easy; now, even finishing a glass of wine is a chore. The appeal of the taste just isn’t there anymore. So I allowed myself one or two drinks every now and then.

And then I fell off the moderation wagon. Last weekend and the past weekend were terrible for me. I drank too much. I never knew that a hangover could last two days. And despite all the sleep I got yesterday, I’m still tired and I’m still dehydrated.

I spent most of yesterday reevaluating my life choices. And I don’t mean that in a philosophical way. I legitimately asked myself why I chose to consume too much alcohol knowing it was bad for me, and knowing I would pay the price. But I also questioned my approach to change.

My approach has always been to throw myself into personal development 100%, but that just isn’t sustainable. I decide I want to change and that I’m going to work out 5 days a week, I’m going to cut out alcohol completely, I’m going to cut out ice cream and candy, I’m going to read every night before bed, I’m going to go to bed early, etc. We’ve all made these promises to ourselves. And I personally have never been able to maintain these commitments for more than 2 months at a time.

They say the first step in making a change is acknowledging what the problem is. My problem is my inability to maintain my momentum for more than 2 months.

My question is: where do I go from here?

Namaste