Back in Black…Lycra

Alright so I’m back again after another hiatus. This hiatus wasn’t health related, I was just being extra lazy last week and I was also busy every single night. But after skipping yoga last night after promising myself I would go, I decided to pull myself off the couch today and get my ass to yoga. And when I say I pulled my ass off the couch, I mean that literally- I was mid-nap when I suddenly woke up, looked at my phone and saw that it was 5:54. The debate that raged in my head between the part of me that wanted to get up and work out and the part of me that wanted to sleep was pretty damn epic. The work out side of me won (probably because the lazy part of me was too lazy to put up a proper argument). So I ran upstairs, gathered all my shit, which had been collecting dust in the corner of my room, and drove to yoga.

I normally get to yoga about 30-40 minutes early. Don’t ask me why; I suffer from chronic obsessive punctuality. Today however I got there with 15 minutes to spare. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to get my favorite spot in the very center of the back row (this is one of the reasons I’m always early). But luckily there was one spot left in the back row, and it was my spot. I’m telling you, the gods wanted me to practice today. So I threw down my yoga mat and towels and headed to the locker room to get changed.

When I walked into the locker room I was greeted with the most horrific of sights: An older woman (probably mid-50s) sitting on the bench, completely naked, legs spread, facing me. Marlon Brando’s infamous words: “The horror! The horror” echoed in my head as I did my best to keep my eyes glued to the ceiling. I had to change my clothes without looking down. It was hard. But not as hard as being greeted by a strange woman’s lady parts. I’m telling you, there’s a special code among yogis that pretty much says anything goes after you’ve sweat together for 90 minutes. But I hadn’t sweat with this woman as she was just finishing her workout. So I was disgusted. What has been seen cannot be unseen.

So anyway, I got changed and hustled to the room where I laid in Savasana until class began. As I waited for class to begin, the owner of the mat next to me arrived. He was a young guy, about my age, pretty damn hot, and ripped. Needless to say, I swooned and knew that I’d have to bring my A game in session.

Today, my instructor was Justine, who I’d never had before. She was a little too peppy for me and was a major chatty Cathy, which pissed me off at first. But rather than ramble on and on about insignificant details like a lot of other instructors, she actually dedicated most of her talking to tips for improving the postures. Even for people who’ve done yoga for years, the postures can be hard to maneuver. Having tips throughout the session is pretty darn beneficial. Let me be clear though, I’ve never had a bad instructor at Sacramento Bikram Yoga. I’ve had 4 different instructors and they were each better than the last.

The class went well overall and I’m satisfied with my performance today. I did have trouble staying in a lot of the standing poses as I kept losing my balance. And my arches hurt badly today. In every single yoga class I’ve ever taken, my arches hurt. I asked one of my instructors about it once and he told me that it was simply because my arches were getting a good workout and that as the muscle built up over time, the pain would subside. So far, no dice. Maybe I need to go to yoga more often. Maybe he’s full of shit. Either way, today was painful. But in a good way.

One thing about myself that I noticed today was that in certain poses, I find it easier to look at the floor to concentrate instead of looking at my reflection in the mirror like you’re supposed to. Not sure why. I guess angling my head down instead of up helps me maintain my balance. Either way, it works for me to not follow instructions. Not sure if that’s helping me, or hurting me since I’m not learning to do the poses properly. Guess I should ask an instructor.

Also, when you want an excellent workout, sit next to the hot guy. I’m telling you, it’ll do wonders for your motivation. Especially if said hot guy isn’t used to yoga and is slow going in and out of the poses. As he panted on the mat next to me, I couldn’t help but think: “Oh, we’re done with Savasana already and you need us to do a sit-up then pop into the camel pose? No problem! Let me just do that real quick.” Even if he wasn’t impressed with my hustle today, I certainly was. I’m telling you: Sit. Next. To. The. Hot. Guy. Every. Time.

Finally, I don’t care who you are, what you do for a living, how hard you worked out and how much you sweat…there’s absolutely NO EXCUSE for walking around the locker room naked. Repeat: NO EXCUSE. After having been traumatized by a woman’s vagina earlier in the evening, I found myself eye to eye with two more naked women after yoga. Seriously, I understand you people are hot, and gross, and sweaty. But there’s no excuse for letting it all hang out. Have some decency. Get undressed in the shower. Shower with your clothes on. I don’t need to see your business. I don’t want to see your business. Seriously, get that shit on lock.

Oh, and one more thing: as we were practicing today, two kids, no older than 4, stared through the window at us. The instructor remarked that the kids were lucky since they were getting to see “yogis in their natural habitat.” The class let out a hearty laugh, which lightened the mood and made for a good floor series as well as an excellent way to end the class.

Namaste.

Oh, and by the way…

Two more things I needed to share:

1) I’ve decided on just trying to do 3 yoga sessions a week. This whole “every other day” nonsense isn’t working. I end up skipping a day or two and it just makes me feel like shit. 3 times a week is better.

2) I walked into my room this evening after having been out with friends and my room had the very distinctive smell of sweat. Which is disgusting. My window is now open and my room is airing out. But still, damn. I need to store my towels and yoga clothes outside or something because this smell is just ridiculous.

That’s all.

A Disappointing Session

Alright so I needed to write about how shitty today’s session was.

First off, I didn’t want to go today. And I mean I REALLY didn’t want to go. But I skipped yesterday and I knew I needed to go today. So I woke up after sleeping for a good ten hours, had breakfast, drank a shit ton of water, had lunch, had even more water and watched trashy television. And by trashy television I mean that I spent several hours watching Toddlers and Tiaras and My Teenager is Pregnant and So Am I. America at its finest, clearly. 

So I pulled my ass off the couch after having the longest debate with myself about whether or not I should actually go, and got dressed. I drove to yoga, found my spot on the floor and laid in Savanna until class began. And even though I was hydrated and present, the session still sucked.

For some reason, it was hotter than normal. I pretty much guzzled my water (which I never do) and had to sit down in several of the poses (which I also rarely do). I felt like I was going to pass out several times and even contemplated leaving early. I didn’t, but then I thought “maybe if I just stepped outside of the room and sat down outside, it’d be okay.” Again, I didn’t. Maybe it was just because I was too lazy to actually stand up and walk outside. Either way, I stayed in the room the entire time, which is pretty much the biggest battle in Bikram.

When the session was over, I went to the locker room to change. I overheard from several other women that it seemed that the session was especially hot. That made me pretty damn happy to know that I wasn’t the only one who struggled. Apparently Guillermo (the instructor) is one of the only teachers who doesn’t open the door occasionally during the session to let some cool air in and some hot air out. Which pretty much explains it all. 

Either way, the day sucked and I was looking forward to going to Selena’s to have dinner and catch up with old high school friends. So I got home and as soon as I walked through the front door, I smelled it. Someone had baked and it smelled delicious in my apartment. I walked to the kitchen to refill my water bottle and right on the counter sat  a big, beautiful plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. 

Pretty much my kryptonite. And I thought to myself “I’ll just go upstairs, take a shower, get dressed, eat a peach, and go to Selena’s.” No dice. I had two cookies and chugged milk from the carton. And it was glorious. And I don’t regret it. Because I worked my ass off today (sorta) and haven’t had a delicious cooking in an incredibly long time.

So even though yoga sucked today, I had a little pick me up afterwards. And now, as I write this blog on Selena’s bed on her Macbook, I’ve got a glass of wine to look forward to and good friends to converse with. And that pretty much trumps any yoga session, good or bad.

Namaste. 

A Pleasantly Bizarre Day

Well folks, I’m back after a one week hiatus due to a week-long migraine. That’s right. A migraine that lasted a week. Needless to say I could barely function let alone do yoga. But after a lovely trip to the ER and a prescription of antibiotics and codeine, I’m back!

So today was the first day back to yoga since last Wednesday and it was a glorious session! The whole day was a bit out of the ordinary which I think is the reason.

So first, I didn’t have to be at work today until 9:30 since I was going to a training seminar on what the month of August looks like for the legislature. It was 2 and a half hours long, a bit boring at times, but pretty informative. I finished around 12:00, went to my desk, worked for about an hour, then grabbed some delicious coffee and a sandwich from Starbucks and got back to work. Then my boss told me I was free to leave early. After requesting that I be able to leave on time for the early yoga session she told me to just go ahead and leave at 3:30. And I did.

So I rode my bike home in the 95 degree heat (practically chilly to a Bikram yogi!) and grabbed my gear. I headed to the post office to pick up the last of a few posters I’d ordered to decorate my kitchen (pics to come soon). Then I got to yoga around 4:15, changed my clothes, grabbed a spot in the room and waited for the session to start.

Today’s session was bizarre in a couple ways:

1) I made it to the 4:30 session, which is significantly less crowded than the 6:30 session since most people are still at work. With less people in the room I was able to concentrate better on my poses and I truly feel that I had a much better session today than I had during any of the 6:30 sessions.

2) Our instructor’s first language was Spanish and he knew enough English to give the poses. He was obviously fluent in English but he dove in and out of English and Spanish throughout the whole session, which I actually really liked. It was however a bit distracting because sometimes when you’re in a pose, you can block out the instructor’s voice and just concentrate on your position. But when he wove back and forth between English and Spanish I had to strain my ears to not only hear him, but to translate his words into English then apply it to my pose. Today’s session was a double workout: I worked out my body and my Spanish skills.

3) Because I did the 4:30 session I don’t feel as tired afterwards as I normally do. While it’s true that I did miss my exit on the freeway cus I’d zoned out a bit, I still feel much better when I finished at 6 as opposed to 8. I feel relaxed, whereas before I just felt tired. I managed to get about 9 hours of sleep last night (which, for me, is the adequate amount that I need to properly function without yawning all day), which I think greatly contributed to my feeling less tired today. It’s possible though that my energy can be attributed to the latte I guzzled at 1:00 today, but I’ll go with sleep and yoga instead.

4) I successfully did my two favorite poses today (although one of them I’d always been able to do since it’s easy as pie).

The first one is Savasana…
Savasana is (obviously) a part of the floor exercises where you lay flat on your back with your legs apart and hands at your side. It’s meant to function as a resting pose between your other, more physical poses. Savasana is also called Corpse Pose. Is there any question as to why I love it?

My second favorite pose is Supta-Vajrasana:

This pose starts with you sitting on your knees and leaning back as far as you can on your elbows. Eventually you lay back so that your back and head are on the floor and your hands are above your head, as shown in the picture. I used to be able to do this pose in Fresno but then I stopped doing yoga and it’s not a good idea to jump back to where you left off after so little practice. Just like you wouldn’t run a marathon after having not run a mile in years, so too would you refrain from Supta-Vajrasana after 2 years of not practicing.

And so that’s a recap of my day and the evening’s session. I feel much more relaxed and less tired after today’s workout, which I attribute to adequate sleep and an earlier yoga session. And even better, I was able to do my two favorite poses (but really, just the one) after not having been able to do them in a long time.

Namaste.