“Hey There, Miss Back Bend”

Apparently I’ve developed a slight reputation around the studio as having a superb back bend. And while it’s not untrue, I’ll admit, I’m a bit embarrassed by the attention.

As I headed into the hot room this evening an older gentleman who had been in Wednesday’s 6:30 class with Elle came up to me and put his hand on my shoulder and said “Hey there, Miss Back Bend! That was incredible!” I’m pretty sure I blushed with pride/embarrassment as I told him thank you. We walked into the hot room together and he kept asking me about my flexibility. The woman sitting in front of us overheard and turned to me and asked me, her eyes wide, “Have you always been that flexible?” I told her yes, but that I can’t balance for the life of me because of my arches and lack of general strength.

She and I then proceeded to have a long conversation about strength versus flexibility. I told her about my knee woes and she told me that last fall she’d popped a hamstring in standing separate head to knee pose but didn’t realize it until after class. She told me the same thing I’d heard over and over and have been trying to tell myself: listen to your body. And that’s what I did today.

I concentrated really hard today on how my knee felt throughout each posture. It hurt during part 1 of awkward pose, it hurt during standing head to knee (though I did slightly better in this pose today than I have in a while), and it hurt during standing bow. I sat out bow pulling pose, fixed firm and rabbit pose because they all put so much pressure on my knees and I just couldn’t stand it. I didn’t mention that yesterday I couldn’t even do camel pose because the pressure on my knee was so painful. And I refuse to let this knee pain take camel pose from me…it’s all I have!!! My knee aches slightly as I write this, but I know I took it easy today, and will probably take it easy the next couple days until my knee pain goes away.

Confession: I almost didn’t go to class today. You see, naps are my kryptonite in all that I do. I came home from work today and put on some comfy clothes (mistake number 1), then I crawled into bed to “just rest my eyes” (mistake number 2). I dozed for a bout 20 minutes and woke up at 5:55 (I leave my house at 6:05 but still needed to get my stuff together). I looked at the clock, fought with myself mentally and decided I was going to skip class tonight under the guise that my knee hurt and that the pink tank top isn’t really that important. “Fuck it,” I thought to myself as I laid my head back down on the pillow and prepared myself for a good nap.

But then I remembered my conversation this morning with Tish where we both agreed that “fuck it” is the worst phrase imaginable when you’re dieting, working out, trying to drink less, or just generally trying to be better. “Fuck it” is the mind’s way of saying “Yeah, your goals are important, just not as important as this thing I want right now.”‘ Immediately I jumped out of bed and gathered my stuff, not wanting to succumb to my ephemeral desires while forgoing the hard work I’d put in all week. I’m so close to getting that tank top- I wouldn’t have felt that I deserved it if I’d skipped class today but still bought it on Tuesday.

I found this quote yesterday on Pinterest and it really resonated with me:

While my body does indeed experience physical exhaustion, especially at the end of class, when I really concentrate and try really hard, I can convince my body that there’s energy enough to do one more pose, or go just a little bit deeper (so long as it doesn’t hurt me). I think finding that mental toughness is a key component in any attempt we make at change. We have to be aware of the mind’s role in the mind/body relationship and understand that it is the mind that controls the body. Because if we let our bodies control our minds, we’ll never have the energy to be better.

Namaste